Worry has been an issue as of late. Last night it went too far, and I was jolted out of the cycle a bit. When I went to sleep, I lay in bed worrying about a meeting I would be having in the morning. I dreamed about it. I woke up early thinking about it. Worry consumed my thoughts..until I stepped out into the rain to get into my vehicle to go to work. All of a sudden, I heard the Holy Spirit whisper, "Caty...I got this." It was like a breath of fresh air. I was reminded that, if God is for me, who can be against me? Scriptures were brought to my mind, and I was reminded once again about the faithfulness of God, and my own lack of bringing my needs before Him. The constant need for surrender.
I must say that I am ready for the valley to be over. I hate hate hate feeling needy, and feeling like I am depressed and in the dark instead of being able to be the one with the answers. I like to be the "helper" not the "helpee" and it's not a fun feeling right now. There are so many "what ifs" and for the first time in my life, I don't know what I will be doing 6 months from now. But I do know that God is molding me so much, and I am excited about what all of this is going to produce in my life.
I will be traveling to Indiana today, and look forward to being around people who first influenced the passion God placed in my heart for abused women. I am hoping to really be able to rejuvenate and put on a positive attitude!
-Caty
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