For some odd reason, women think that they must master everything, become a "Jane of all trades," so to speak. I know that men are portrayed as the "fixers," the ones who must help solve everyone's dilemmas, but women are the creatures who add the element of "neurotic and irrational thought" to the mix, altogether becoming a recipe for extreme overwhelmed-ness. As a woman, I must ensure that I am beautiful. I must weigh a certain number, put my makeup on everyday, keep my hair highlighted. The world must see that I am put together. I also must become two people: the Homemaker, skilled in the arts of womanly things such as cooking, cleaning, nurturing both children and men, and scrapbooking...and the Feminist, embracing the hard-fought "We Can Do It!" attitude which requires me to take on extreme sports, the corporate ladder, and an ability to speak my opinions. Women must submit, yet lead. We must take care of our home. And for those women who do not yet have a family of their own, they must continuously make sure that sisters, mothers, brothers, dads are all taken care of, putting time in with each. Don't forget the qualities which make this single woman marketable: education, sense of humor, etc. At what point, I ask, does Superwoman scream out in frustration, fling her cape to the ground and groan, "I'VE HAD ENOUGH!"?
I am only 23, but I see that this "save the world" syndrome we females embrace cannot possibly be Scriptural. It says in the Bible very clearly that we are weak. God has designed us with a breaking point, one that should signal we heroes of the world that we cannot, I repeat, CANNOT, do everything. Why? Because we would no longer have a need for Him.
Here is the truth that I as well as the rest of you girls nodding your heads out there need to wrap our brains around:
YOU CANNOT MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY. YOU WILL LET PEOPLE DOWN. YOU WILL OFFEND PEOPLE....AND IT'S OKAY!
Something must give. The 100 billion hour day required to meet the needs of everyone around you will not be met in the 24 that you have. A sister will be upset that you missed her basketball game in order to write your term paper. A church member will be upset that you have had to stop serving in 5 areas of church ministry. A friend will feel dissed because you cannot talk on the phone for 3 hours...sometimes, not at all. But what is important to realize is that people on this world do not get to decide what you are worth. God does. It is His opinion that matters, and He thinks that you are lovely. He longs for you to be able to enjoy the freedom that comes with a life resting in His perfect peace.
That is not to say that our next move should be a facebook status update proclaiming "I AM WOMAN! HERE ME ROAR! EVERYONE SHUT UP AND GET OFF MY BACK BEFORE I HAVE A MELTDOWN!" Let's simply practice setting boundaries and prioritizing our lives. Do what will provide the most satisfaction and importance in the long run. When those things are done, we can work on the little things, and do what we can. You are not Super Woman. I, for one, know that I can't handle the pressure of what I'd look like in those tights. :)
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Win a free copy of Hear No Evil!
I'm giving away a copy of Matthew Paul Turner's book Hear No Evil this week. If you have never heard of this book, check out my previous post that reviews this excellent memoir. If you would like a shot at receiving this book, leave a comment including your name and email on this post. I will draw a name randomly on Saturday and announce the winner! Good luck!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Book Review: Matthew Paul Turner's "Hear No Evil"
Within the postmodern culture of 2010 exists a group of people far removed from societal norm. This subculture customizes attire, movies, literature, toys, etc., seemingly permeating everything except the choices at the mall food court. Who are these people? If you have ever walked into a Mardel or a Lifeway store, you know exactly who I am talking about: Christians. With a sense of ownership not unlike race or gender pride, Christians have made religion marketable. Every brand of candy has been magically transformed into a holy word or Scripture and ironed onto a T-shirt. There is a stigma that, if you are a follower of Jesus Christ, part of the “do and don’t” list attached to the contract requires a person to forsake all that is “secular” and embrace not only God’s grace, but the WOW 2010 CD that comes with it. It’s enough to drive us “recovering Christians” crazy, and enough to send the rest of the world running in the other direction. It is this reason why I find Matthew Paul Turner’s Hear No Evil so delightfully refreshing.
Writing from a Fundamental Baptist background, Turner writes this brilliantly sarcastic memoir concerning his experiences with Christian music. Each chapter bears a new and interesting encounter with a song, a beat, an artist, or an experience that parallels Turner’s evolving faith while giving the reader permission to relate. As I read about his desire to be the Jesus’s Michael Jackson as well as his mother’s hysterical reactions to Amy Grant’s “Baby, Baby,” I found myself shuffling through my bookshelf in attempt to locate the diary I was sure had been stolen. I recall the Celebrate Freedom concert in which I was not allowed to be the Raze CD because one of the girls wore a nose ring, singing from the Heavenly Highway Hymnal every Sunday, receiving awkwardly judgmental stares when, in high school, I played a confessional song that I wrote instead…the list could go on forever. Turner’s humorous overtones and his at times brutal honesty allow the Christian reader (I specify because the average reader does this anyway…for some reason we need permission) to stop pretending to accept societal rules and just see life exactly like it is.
What I loved even more than Turner’s experiences with music was the opportunity to see how these experiences molded his faith. As his encounters with the secular world increased, his ability to take ownership in his relationship with Jesus obviously evolves as well…and not in some checklist-chirpy-Jesus takes my blues away kind of way. It is the encounters with people such as Tina and Kyle that transform this book from a sarcastic commentary to an inspiring work that provides hope to those of us who are determined to love like Jesus. For those of us who have endured a legalistic upbringing, it is often tempting to pour cynicism and judgment onto every Christian who does not meet our standards, refusing to see the good in them. Turner’s confession of his first impressions of Tina as well as his decision to let her perform demonstrate to me a happy medium.Yes, it is okay to laugh at the silliness that sometimes pervades our faith. Yes, it is okay to feel enraged at the injustices that our brothers and sisters inflict on others. However, it is never okay to forsake the call of Christ—and that is to love Him, and love others. Hear No Evil inspires me to do this.
All in all, extremely readable, thoroughly enjoyable, highly recommended. Go to Matthew Paul Turner's blog, Jesus Needs New PR, and find out more about his book as well as his hilarious observations on life and faith.
Writing from a Fundamental Baptist background, Turner writes this brilliantly sarcastic memoir concerning his experiences with Christian music. Each chapter bears a new and interesting encounter with a song, a beat, an artist, or an experience that parallels Turner’s evolving faith while giving the reader permission to relate. As I read about his desire to be the Jesus’s Michael Jackson as well as his mother’s hysterical reactions to Amy Grant’s “Baby, Baby,” I found myself shuffling through my bookshelf in attempt to locate the diary I was sure had been stolen. I recall the Celebrate Freedom concert in which I was not allowed to be the Raze CD because one of the girls wore a nose ring, singing from the Heavenly Highway Hymnal every Sunday, receiving awkwardly judgmental stares when, in high school, I played a confessional song that I wrote instead…the list could go on forever. Turner’s humorous overtones and his at times brutal honesty allow the Christian reader (I specify because the average reader does this anyway…for some reason we need permission) to stop pretending to accept societal rules and just see life exactly like it is.
What I loved even more than Turner’s experiences with music was the opportunity to see how these experiences molded his faith. As his encounters with the secular world increased, his ability to take ownership in his relationship with Jesus obviously evolves as well…and not in some checklist-chirpy-Jesus takes my blues away kind of way. It is the encounters with people such as Tina and Kyle that transform this book from a sarcastic commentary to an inspiring work that provides hope to those of us who are determined to love like Jesus. For those of us who have endured a legalistic upbringing, it is often tempting to pour cynicism and judgment onto every Christian who does not meet our standards, refusing to see the good in them. Turner’s confession of his first impressions of Tina as well as his decision to let her perform demonstrate to me a happy medium.Yes, it is okay to laugh at the silliness that sometimes pervades our faith. Yes, it is okay to feel enraged at the injustices that our brothers and sisters inflict on others. However, it is never okay to forsake the call of Christ—and that is to love Him, and love others. Hear No Evil inspires me to do this.
All in all, extremely readable, thoroughly enjoyable, highly recommended. Go to Matthew Paul Turner's blog, Jesus Needs New PR, and find out more about his book as well as his hilarious observations on life and faith.
Grief by Default
How one deals with death differs from person to person. There are books, self-help CDs, television shows, and therapy sessions all geared toward our encounter with tragedy. However, how does a person deal with the grief of a friend who has just lost someone dear to them?
My roommate's mother died last week. After an 8 month battle with stomach cancer, she went to be with Jesus. My friend, who is stoic in all aspects, has composed herself beautifully through the whole process, being a pillar of strength to her family, seeming affected but not tormented. Now that the funeral is over, she is home, and things are starting to become real. Tonight I saw the depths of despair going on in her heart, and for once in a blue moon, I was speechless.
I want to help. I want to hug her and tell her it's okay even though it's not. I want to give her space. I want to speak words of wisdom into her life. I want to be silent. I want to take the pain away from her and see the joy flood back into her heart. But I am clueless on what to do.
I have been blessed that I have not yet lost a parent. I do not know how to help. Should I pray silently and let her alone? Is one expression of "I love you and am here" enough, or is this something that needs to be repeated? I trust God that He will sustain my friend, and that He will lavish His undying love onto her broken spirit. But if I can help that process, I want to. I would appreciate any advice from anyone who has been there or can relate.
My roommate's mother died last week. After an 8 month battle with stomach cancer, she went to be with Jesus. My friend, who is stoic in all aspects, has composed herself beautifully through the whole process, being a pillar of strength to her family, seeming affected but not tormented. Now that the funeral is over, she is home, and things are starting to become real. Tonight I saw the depths of despair going on in her heart, and for once in a blue moon, I was speechless.
I want to help. I want to hug her and tell her it's okay even though it's not. I want to give her space. I want to speak words of wisdom into her life. I want to be silent. I want to take the pain away from her and see the joy flood back into her heart. But I am clueless on what to do.
I have been blessed that I have not yet lost a parent. I do not know how to help. Should I pray silently and let her alone? Is one expression of "I love you and am here" enough, or is this something that needs to be repeated? I trust God that He will sustain my friend, and that He will lavish His undying love onto her broken spirit. But if I can help that process, I want to. I would appreciate any advice from anyone who has been there or can relate.
Friday, February 12, 2010
My Hunger Games movie cast
So, I know the rumors have been out for a while that Hunger Games is supposed to be a movie coming out in 2011. Lionsgate is supposed to be producing it. However, lack of information is driving me absolutely nuts! As I was digging around, I came across a blog called Lenzi Likes It. Lenzi seems to dig a lot of the same books/movies as me, specifically in teen fiction. She wrote several posts regarding her HG casting, and I have been inspired to do the same. One or two of her cast members I actually stole. I am going to lump them all together in one post, so comments about why will be minimal. Let me know what you think, and comment with your own cast ideas!
First of all, Katniss Everdeen. For Katniss, I chose Alexis Bledel.
Yes, I am aware that she is like 10 years older than Katniss is supposed to be. But her look and her "tough innocence" fits my image of Katniss perfectly. I think that she could be roughed up a bit and look the part, plus she is a good enough actress to be a fighter.
For Peeta, I chose a new TV hottie: Paul Wesley.
Paul Wesley is one of the stars of the show Vampire Diaries. I think that, with some highlights, he could be my Peeta. Honestly, this was the hardest one for me to cast, because all of the blonde haired, blue eyed Hollywood boys are SCRAWNY. And Peeta is definitely not. He needs to be a bit beefed up. So I think Paul might need some work, but it's a possibility.
I chose another VD star, Ian Somerhalder, for my pick as Gale.
Dark, rugged, and seemingly a good "bad" boy. Love him for Gale. I'm noticing that my people are too old, but I just think that the kind of action in HG calls for mature actors/actresses. Don't judge me.
For Katniss's sister Prim, I chose the ever-precious Abigail Breslin.
She is precious, sweet, and could be the innocent Prim that Katniss must step in for.
Rue was a struggle. I stole Lenzi's pick and cast Madison Pettis.
I don't even know what she is in besides The Game Plan. But she's a cutie and seems to fit the character.
I think I'm right on the money with my casting of Haymitch. I chose David Duchovny...and will explain.
Haymitch used to be a ruggedly good looking man. But due to alcohol abuse, he's become a washed up has-been. Duchovny is a good looking guy but could easily be made to look like an ex-champion. And he's straight forward with a dry sense of humor. Perfect.
Now all that is left are Katniss's parents and Effie.
Katniss's mom is a used up woman who is over medicated and lonesome. She's given up. After seeing the movie Gamer, I thought that Amber Valleta would be a great cast. The father is a warm source of strength. I imagine Eric Bana when I think of Katniss's fond memory regarding the mockingjay.
Lastly, Effie. Silly, over makeuped, waaay too bubbly. I like Drew Barrymore for Effie. No real reason, just matches my mind's eye.
Please, let me know your thoughts!
First of all, Katniss Everdeen. For Katniss, I chose Alexis Bledel.
Yes, I am aware that she is like 10 years older than Katniss is supposed to be. But her look and her "tough innocence" fits my image of Katniss perfectly. I think that she could be roughed up a bit and look the part, plus she is a good enough actress to be a fighter.
For Peeta, I chose a new TV hottie: Paul Wesley.
Paul Wesley is one of the stars of the show Vampire Diaries. I think that, with some highlights, he could be my Peeta. Honestly, this was the hardest one for me to cast, because all of the blonde haired, blue eyed Hollywood boys are SCRAWNY. And Peeta is definitely not. He needs to be a bit beefed up. So I think Paul might need some work, but it's a possibility.
I chose another VD star, Ian Somerhalder, for my pick as Gale.
Dark, rugged, and seemingly a good "bad" boy. Love him for Gale. I'm noticing that my people are too old, but I just think that the kind of action in HG calls for mature actors/actresses. Don't judge me.
For Katniss's sister Prim, I chose the ever-precious Abigail Breslin.
She is precious, sweet, and could be the innocent Prim that Katniss must step in for.
Rue was a struggle. I stole Lenzi's pick and cast Madison Pettis.
I don't even know what she is in besides The Game Plan. But she's a cutie and seems to fit the character.
I think I'm right on the money with my casting of Haymitch. I chose David Duchovny...and will explain.
Haymitch used to be a ruggedly good looking man. But due to alcohol abuse, he's become a washed up has-been. Duchovny is a good looking guy but could easily be made to look like an ex-champion. And he's straight forward with a dry sense of humor. Perfect.
Now all that is left are Katniss's parents and Effie.
Katniss's mom is a used up woman who is over medicated and lonesome. She's given up. After seeing the movie Gamer, I thought that Amber Valleta would be a great cast. The father is a warm source of strength. I imagine Eric Bana when I think of Katniss's fond memory regarding the mockingjay.
Lastly, Effie. Silly, over makeuped, waaay too bubbly. I like Drew Barrymore for Effie. No real reason, just matches my mind's eye.
Please, let me know your thoughts!
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Teaching, Withdrawing, and a Return to Community
A LOT has happened since my last blog post. I find myself so tired that the thought of blogging makes me exhausted...but if I don't update, I will have WAY too much to process.
A few weeks ago I started a new job. I now am a long term sub for a 3rd grade boy who is emotionally disturbed. ED, meaning that he flies into fits of rage and tries to choke people, knocking down furniture, etc. It's a challenge and leaves me exhausted a lot of the time, but I am learning so much about patience, and am trusting that God has me there for a purpose. I could talk a lot about this, but I really don't feel like spending the last moments of my weekend rehashing the hairy details of my school days.
This job is only part of the reason that I feel as though I've withdrawn from socializing lately. School has been a huge load that is leaving me with no time for fun. I also have not had time to work out, which seriously makes me feel more like crap. I got convicted about this a few weeks ago and am working on digging my way out. Tomorrow I'm hitting the gym, and I'm surrounding myself with positive people.
Tonight I went to a Super Bowl party with some really wonderful people. My weekend was spend with some godly women, and I couldn't have designed a better time than I had. It's so great to just laugh! I didn't realize how much I've missed spending time with friends/making new friends, but yesterday and today was a great reminder that, contrary to what Satan has been telling me, I do matter to people, and I do have meaningful relationships here.
I feel like the wah-wah nature of my blog calls for a lot more elaboration than I am giving, but again, I really don't feel like making someone read the depths of my soul here. I'm always willing to go into detail over dinner or a cup of coffee. :)
Challenge to anyone who reads my blog this week: evaluate your thought life. Are the negative thoughts in your life of you, of God, or of Satan? Don't let the enemy make a home in your head. Tell him to go to hell. Literally.
A few weeks ago I started a new job. I now am a long term sub for a 3rd grade boy who is emotionally disturbed. ED, meaning that he flies into fits of rage and tries to choke people, knocking down furniture, etc. It's a challenge and leaves me exhausted a lot of the time, but I am learning so much about patience, and am trusting that God has me there for a purpose. I could talk a lot about this, but I really don't feel like spending the last moments of my weekend rehashing the hairy details of my school days.
This job is only part of the reason that I feel as though I've withdrawn from socializing lately. School has been a huge load that is leaving me with no time for fun. I also have not had time to work out, which seriously makes me feel more like crap. I got convicted about this a few weeks ago and am working on digging my way out. Tomorrow I'm hitting the gym, and I'm surrounding myself with positive people.
Tonight I went to a Super Bowl party with some really wonderful people. My weekend was spend with some godly women, and I couldn't have designed a better time than I had. It's so great to just laugh! I didn't realize how much I've missed spending time with friends/making new friends, but yesterday and today was a great reminder that, contrary to what Satan has been telling me, I do matter to people, and I do have meaningful relationships here.
I feel like the wah-wah nature of my blog calls for a lot more elaboration than I am giving, but again, I really don't feel like making someone read the depths of my soul here. I'm always willing to go into detail over dinner or a cup of coffee. :)
Challenge to anyone who reads my blog this week: evaluate your thought life. Are the negative thoughts in your life of you, of God, or of Satan? Don't let the enemy make a home in your head. Tell him to go to hell. Literally.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
The "Three Date Curse"
It has been brought to my attention that, when it comes to going on dates, I have a "thing," a quirk that presents itself subtly but surely into my relationships, no matter how casual or serious they are. I have dubbed this little jewel the Three Date Curse. Allow me to rewind a little bit and explain the TDC's origin.
In 2007, I helped out with a Disciple Now weekend in Port Aransas, where my friend Zac was serving as youth minister. One of my favorite Rho Beaus, Josh Myers, was helping out as well. Josh is one of those guys that will have your sides hurting within 5 minutes of talking to him. Quite enjoyable. But, at the time, the boy had been out of college for 3 years and had yet to really date a girl. I didn't get it. I asked him about it and he told me that he had gone on several first dates that went really well, second dates that had been fun, but by the third date, something shifted and he was suddenly bored and uninterested. I don't really know why I remember that, but I am fairly sure that I told him he was ridiculous. He's married now, so I can throw him under the bus all I want. :)
The Three Date Curse is exactly what Josh described to me, and is now haunting my social life. The first dates are usually awesome, second dates are fun, third date I'm done. Here's a look into my brain:
Date #1: Oh my goodness, now this guy is funny. And cute! Funny AND cute. AND look at how he opened that door for me. Excellent. I bet he will age really well, our children will look very nice with his genetics, and he's involved in church. Should I start looking at venues?
Date #2: Well, since Date #1 went so well, this is just one step closer to being able to change my Facebook status. Oh, look how he's trying to impress me. That's kind of cute. Or kind of not....just be yourself, dude. Ok, put your hand out during the movie in case he wants to hold it. No, wait. Do I want him to hold it? Yes...No...Yes...crap. No, I didn't say anything...more popcorn?
Date #3: Hmmm...I have got so much to do when I get home. Fold laundry, watch Biggest Loser on DVR, organize my hair products...I wonder if he knows that I am bored. If he likes me so much then why doesn't he just say so? Or do something? I can't handle that he likes me more than I like him. It freaks me out. I can't believe I am missing the Mavs game to sit here and smile and nod and say the same things I have said on #1 and #2. This is how the rest of our lives would be. Oh, dear Lord. get me out of here.
And, with that, the relationship with the unsuspecting XY chromosome has come to an end.
I really never mean to be that way...it just happens. And reflecting back on relationships that have lasted longer, I still can pinpoint the 3rd date as the turning point in which I was kind of over it, but just didn't want to hurt feelings. I wonder what happens between 1 and 3 that so drastically changes my mind. Maybe God has installed a kind of "He's not the one" filter into my brain and a switch goes off that makes me shut down. Or maybe I just date boring people. No offense if you are one of them, really it's not you, it's me.
I have been brainstorming ideas of how to break the Three Date Curse. Never date? Date more often? Assume I am nutso and just go on Date 4? I don't really know. Perhaps I will make a suggestion box and ask for helpful questions or comments. Or maybe I should just accept the fact that, in this one area, I am high maintenance and that maybe some day a guy will be great enough to break the curse. When I put it like that, it seems more of a fairy tale and less of a cause for medication. :)
In 2007, I helped out with a Disciple Now weekend in Port Aransas, where my friend Zac was serving as youth minister. One of my favorite Rho Beaus, Josh Myers, was helping out as well. Josh is one of those guys that will have your sides hurting within 5 minutes of talking to him. Quite enjoyable. But, at the time, the boy had been out of college for 3 years and had yet to really date a girl. I didn't get it. I asked him about it and he told me that he had gone on several first dates that went really well, second dates that had been fun, but by the third date, something shifted and he was suddenly bored and uninterested. I don't really know why I remember that, but I am fairly sure that I told him he was ridiculous. He's married now, so I can throw him under the bus all I want. :)
The Three Date Curse is exactly what Josh described to me, and is now haunting my social life. The first dates are usually awesome, second dates are fun, third date I'm done. Here's a look into my brain:
Date #1: Oh my goodness, now this guy is funny. And cute! Funny AND cute. AND look at how he opened that door for me. Excellent. I bet he will age really well, our children will look very nice with his genetics, and he's involved in church. Should I start looking at venues?
Date #2: Well, since Date #1 went so well, this is just one step closer to being able to change my Facebook status. Oh, look how he's trying to impress me. That's kind of cute. Or kind of not....just be yourself, dude. Ok, put your hand out during the movie in case he wants to hold it. No, wait. Do I want him to hold it? Yes...No...Yes...crap. No, I didn't say anything...more popcorn?
Date #3: Hmmm...I have got so much to do when I get home. Fold laundry, watch Biggest Loser on DVR, organize my hair products...I wonder if he knows that I am bored. If he likes me so much then why doesn't he just say so? Or do something? I can't handle that he likes me more than I like him. It freaks me out. I can't believe I am missing the Mavs game to sit here and smile and nod and say the same things I have said on #1 and #2. This is how the rest of our lives would be. Oh, dear Lord. get me out of here.
And, with that, the relationship with the unsuspecting XY chromosome has come to an end.
I really never mean to be that way...it just happens. And reflecting back on relationships that have lasted longer, I still can pinpoint the 3rd date as the turning point in which I was kind of over it, but just didn't want to hurt feelings. I wonder what happens between 1 and 3 that so drastically changes my mind. Maybe God has installed a kind of "He's not the one" filter into my brain and a switch goes off that makes me shut down. Or maybe I just date boring people. No offense if you are one of them, really it's not you, it's me.
I have been brainstorming ideas of how to break the Three Date Curse. Never date? Date more often? Assume I am nutso and just go on Date 4? I don't really know. Perhaps I will make a suggestion box and ask for helpful questions or comments. Or maybe I should just accept the fact that, in this one area, I am high maintenance and that maybe some day a guy will be great enough to break the curse. When I put it like that, it seems more of a fairy tale and less of a cause for medication. :)
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