Ruin Me

I think that the hardest part of missions is returning home. Not so much missing people, though that is a struggle for sure. Not really even about the job. I can volunteer in a center anywhere. Mainly I miss what felt like the "easy access" to the throne. Every day I have been home, I have become aware of just how human I am. I long to be in the arms of Jesus, hearing His sweet whisper in my head, holding His hand as I walk day to day, in constant companionship with my King. But now is the tough part where I am called to fight. As a woman, I really don't think about battle that often. I love Gladiator just like the next Joe (or Jane..) but when I think of going to war, it kind of weirds me out. But I am at a point in my faith where I must either battle to get closer, fixing my eyes on Jesus, or be satisfied with mediocrity. The song "Ruin my life" by Jeff Johnson really speaks my language right now. I desire so much for God to just rock my world and turn it upside down. Take all this crap that so easily entangles me, so I can run with endurance the race set before me. Let His Word penetrate my life. What does that look like? I hope I find out.