Great is Thy Faithfulness

Sometimes I get really tired of having to learn the same lessons over and over again. I grow closer to the Lord, get distracted, and can't regain intimacy. So I ask God to get my attention. He does, and I act like a crybaby about it. Well, He is answering your prayer, Skinner. Get over it and be greatful.
I am just learning so much about myself right now. What does it mean to be truly dependent on Christ for my everything? How does He even put up with me sometimes? I am so selfish and ask for so much, becoming callused to the Gospel and unevangelic in my mindset. Even still, in the midst of it all, He is faithful to love me. To cherish me. To shelter me in the shadow of His wings. How does that even work? How does God love me unconditionally? I just can't fathom it.
I know that God doesn't owe me anything. And he doesn't let a single need pass Him by without answering. So why do I have such a difficult time being content? Simply abiding in Him for all I could ever want? What does that even look like?
I want to love God the way He deserves to be loved. I want Him to show me how. Show me how to be content. To be compassionate. To love others, to forgive.