Costly Intimacy

Picking up the pieces
of my shattered soul
I don't know how to
make it whole again

How can something
hurt so badly
When I'm striving
to be madly
in love with You?

Costly intimacy
Requiring all of me
Even the dark and
lonely parts
I think nobody sees

Heal my broken heart
And show me where to start
On my face is the
only place
I can bring myself to go

overflowing emotion

So....right now I have so much in my heart and in my mind that I need something faster than journal. No one reads this anyway so I feel pretty safe. Sometimes I just don't know how to process thought and emotion. Today I was held accountable for something that affects not only just me. I don't know how to handle it. Honestly, there is a part of me that is rejoicing. I have never been held accountable for anything. Ever. At the same time, it sucks and is really hard to process. How do I act on that without hurting others? What will the results of my actions be? Should I even change anything? Too much...I am on overload.
Lord,
You are so good and are worthy of so much more praise than I can give. Sometimes I am appalled at how I ignore the fact that I have direct access to the King of Kings! I pray that You could give me strength to crawl onto the altar. Please.