Monday, July 6, 2009

Overanalyzing Analysis

On Wednesday, my first graduate class begins. Because this was the only English course offered in Summer II, I will be taking a class called Critical Contemporary Theory (or maybe it's Contemporary Critical...I don't know). The focus is on psychoanalysis, specifically in regards to film and the theorist Jacques Lacan. Now, looking back over the last couple of sentences it seems like I really know what I am talking about. Um...no. We have to have the first textbook read and have questions ready by this Wednesday...like, 2 days from now. I have 3 chapters left, and let me tell you: I have no idea what this stuff is talking about. Every now and then I will pick up on some nugget of info I can wrap my brain around, but for the most part, I am just writing questions down. But there is one thing that I did find interesting that I thought I would write out.
One part of Lacan's theory is that each person has two levels of dialogue: the ego and the unconscious. The ego is what we consciously think and believe about ourselves. It's what we say, what we write on resumes, the thoughts that run through our brain when we take Facebook quizzes, etc. The unconscious, however, is full of words, thoughts, desires, etc. that at some point were shoved aside when we were first developing, and they are our "true" selves. Honestly, when I read this stuff, my first thought is that it's crappy psycho-babble. I think that people have too much time on their hands breaking down what doesn't even matter. I would consider myself a fairly self-aware; I know most of my weaknesses and own up to them. But then I began to ask myself, "How many times have you had to tell yourself something until you believe it to be true?" To some point, do we concoct the self-image we have? I think that that is the way we all cope with life. We find the least painful possibility and convince ourselves it's truth. Not that I think that is bad...who wants to live in a society full of depressed, crybaby Nancys?
So all that to say, I still don't buy into 150 pages of this stuff. I don't get the charts, and I can safely say there is no way that my sarcasm stems from me missing the breastfeeding days (believe me, there's a whole chapter on that). But I do think that we shortchange our brains a lot. And I am starting to take a second glance at why I do what I do, not because I need the analysis, but because I think it's so interesting to look at the intricacies of how God has made us. I can only hope to have a better grasp of thought processes once this class gets up and rolling.
Yeah, just a lot of babble today, but I have to try some way to understand all of this stuff!!!!

No comments: