Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Random things that make me happy.

In no particular order....

the August Rush soundtrack
my pink fuzzy robe
TCAL
making unexpected friends
chill time with the familia
writing a song that doesn't suck too badly
having a student want to talk to me about life
coffee.
Jesus.
coffee.
Jesus.
coffee.
Jesus.
most musicals.
the Riggins family.
reading mindless books.
MEL.
reality television.
impromptu mud wrestling.
using punctuation incorrectly. on purpose.
receiving flowers.
youtube.
my iPhone
chips and salsa
inappropriate humor
pedicures
compliments- both to give and receive
booty dancing.
the Dallas Mavericks.
Harry Potter.
Snow...with fuzzy hats and scarves and tall boots.
making music videos.
weddings.
walk in closets.
my new ponytail.
talking on the phone while driving long distances.
Sonic diet dp with vanilla.
Reading really nice recommendation letters.
Europe..or the dream of.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Pain

There is something about pain that affects us more than any other emotion. It permeates even the most random of circumstances, and finds us in the most unlikely places, at times where we feel the most safe. We live life anticipating its arrival, yet it always seems to shake us to the core when it finally finds us. Pain brings about many things, many unexpected things: anger at those who inflict it, resentment towards those who allow it, love towards those who receive it. Pain causes us to reevaluate why we do things, and who we do them for. It molds we think we are into sometimes the worst versions of ourselves, our fleshly shadows who thrive on the crumbs of suffering.
However, there are those rare occasions when pain accidentally messes up its own mission, and shapes us into something that slightly resembles the silouhette of Christ. The pain of nails piercing flesh resonates within our beings, relates to our deepest wounds, and gives us the peace of companionship to bring us through the darkness. We see that pain can sometimes be the result of love, even the method love uses to reach us when nothing else seems to work.
For me, pain is a refreshing reminder that I am not numb. That I feel. And that is a beautiful thing to me. Though it can temporarily blind me, incapacitate me, knock out the very breath with which I cry out to Jesus, I embrace it if it means I can be more like Him. After all...His favorite voice to use is a whisper.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Renewing Your Mind

Isn't it crazy how God uses every avenue in your life to mold a specific part of you? Let me just give the rundown of the different things I have been challenged with, then I will tie them all together in a neat little spiritual package. :)

1) School. The den of negativity. "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here!" At least, that is what it says above the AP Senior Literature teacher's door. I am constantly feeling the presence of dementors (Harry Potter, anyone?) lurking the hallways, making my classroom cold and my spirit heavy. I have been struggling with complaining in this area of my life, and falling into the teacher's lounge conversations of who said this, and who is a bad teacher, and blady blah. At TCAL about a month ago, we were extended the "Grumble Challenge" to not complain verbally or mentally. This has really hit me here at school, where most of my complaining originates and takes place.

2) Family. I am going to keep this as broad as possible, but there are several things that are weighing heavy on my heart.

3) Friendships. Really good things happening here. I feel like I am finally connecting with people, that people are getting to know me for me, and I feel like I actually have a place.

4) Church. Basically the best part of life. I am singing on the praise team, working with college students, and basically am challenged every single time I walk through the doors of both a church service and my small group.

All of this to say, in our college group we are learning about renewing our minds and taking control of my thought life. I wish I would have had all of this in college...so many of my thoughts in all of these areas simply run rampant with no harness or leash whatsoever. I have been chewing on all of this, and I think I am having breakthroughs. Even though I hate my job, I can make a difference while I am here, and I am thankful that I have a full time job with the way the economy is. I am thankful that my family is still alive and kicking, and that my relationship with my sister is so good. I am thankful that I am starting to love working out again. I am thankful for the amazing relationships I have built through TCAL. I am thankful for the ways God is using my past mission experiences even today, even though I don't get to go to Prague next year. It's good.