It has been brought to my attention that, when it comes to going on dates, I have a "thing," a quirk that presents itself subtly but surely into my relationships, no matter how casual or serious they are. I have dubbed this little jewel the Three Date Curse. Allow me to rewind a little bit and explain the TDC's origin.
In 2007, I helped out with a Disciple Now weekend in Port Aransas, where my friend Zac was serving as youth minister. One of my favorite Rho Beaus, Josh Myers, was helping out as well. Josh is one of those guys that will have your sides hurting within 5 minutes of talking to him. Quite enjoyable. But, at the time, the boy had been out of college for 3 years and had yet to really date a girl. I didn't get it. I asked him about it and he told me that he had gone on several first dates that went really well, second dates that had been fun, but by the third date, something shifted and he was suddenly bored and uninterested. I don't really know why I remember that, but I am fairly sure that I told him he was ridiculous. He's married now, so I can throw him under the bus all I want. :)
The Three Date Curse is exactly what Josh described to me, and is now haunting my social life. The first dates are usually awesome, second dates are fun, third date I'm done. Here's a look into my brain:
Date #1: Oh my goodness, now this guy is funny. And cute! Funny AND cute. AND look at how he opened that door for me. Excellent. I bet he will age really well, our children will look very nice with his genetics, and he's involved in church. Should I start looking at venues?
Date #2: Well, since Date #1 went so well, this is just one step closer to being able to change my Facebook status. Oh, look how he's trying to impress me. That's kind of cute. Or kind of not....just be yourself, dude. Ok, put your hand out during the movie in case he wants to hold it. No, wait. Do I want him to hold it? Yes...No...Yes...crap. No, I didn't say anything...more popcorn?
Date #3: Hmmm...I have got so much to do when I get home. Fold laundry, watch Biggest Loser on DVR, organize my hair products...I wonder if he knows that I am bored. If he likes me so much then why doesn't he just say so? Or do something? I can't handle that he likes me more than I like him. It freaks me out. I can't believe I am missing the Mavs game to sit here and smile and nod and say the same things I have said on #1 and #2. This is how the rest of our lives would be. Oh, dear Lord. get me out of here.
And, with that, the relationship with the unsuspecting XY chromosome has come to an end.
I really never mean to be that way...it just happens. And reflecting back on relationships that have lasted longer, I still can pinpoint the 3rd date as the turning point in which I was kind of over it, but just didn't want to hurt feelings. I wonder what happens between 1 and 3 that so drastically changes my mind. Maybe God has installed a kind of "He's not the one" filter into my brain and a switch goes off that makes me shut down. Or maybe I just date boring people. No offense if you are one of them, really it's not you, it's me.
I have been brainstorming ideas of how to break the Three Date Curse. Never date? Date more often? Assume I am nutso and just go on Date 4? I don't really know. Perhaps I will make a suggestion box and ask for helpful questions or comments. Or maybe I should just accept the fact that, in this one area, I am high maintenance and that maybe some day a guy will be great enough to break the curse. When I put it like that, it seems more of a fairy tale and less of a cause for medication. :)
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
A New Hard Drive, A New Year
The post I have been wanting to write for over a week is finally able to exist, simply because the lovely Geniuses in Southlake called me and told me that my baby was ready for action. Yep, the 2nd time my hard drive has failed on me, but it is fixed, so no more complaining.
I have been thinking for weeks about what this new decade will hold for me. Not necessarily "for me" in the selfish, material sense, though I can't say that I haven't thought about that either. There are plenty of things that I want: a new apartment, another vehicle, money for clothes, a trip to Europe, etc. But the "for me" I have really been thinking about is what God desires for me in this new chapter of my life.
One of the biggest mistakes we as Christians make is to view God's will as what He wants us to do. I have spent most of my life living like this: running around like a kindergartner, asking permission to cut on the lines, color the picture, go to the bathroom, etc. But I no longer believe that this is, by definition, seeking God's will. It's no mystery...God tells us that His will is for us to love Him and to love others with a selfless love. Pretty simple. This being said, I believe that seeking God's will is less about DOing and more about BEing. Existing within the perimeters of God's calling; relentlessly seeking intimacy with Him; allowing that love to spill over and slosh onto everyone around you.
A lot of Christians I know can become what I lovingly refer to as the Jesus Police, making sure that everyone around them is doing God's will. "I'm worried about Suzie, because she has stopped working with the infants and has been missing Sunday School a LOT. What if she's hanging out with the wrong crowd?" Here is a thought: what if Suzie has realized that her career of trying to please God through service has left her empty, and she wants to step back and try to see God through the eyes of a child again, a task that is difficult to do when you are burned down to a nub. We forget about that little being called the Holy Spirit..that if God begins a good work in us, He will see it come to fruition. I have experienced this myself, taking up most of 2009. It was a year of healing, restoration, and me seeing who God is and what He can truly do. I have witnessed miracles in the lives of both strangers and loved ones, I have seen tragedy, I have seen love poured out onto both the tax collector and the Pharisee, and I have seen Jesus in all of these things.
If 2009 was a year of prep work, 2010 is the show. I feel as though last year was the training for the 2010 marathon. My heart is much more open to ideas, service, and genuine love than it ever has been. I have peace about my life for the first time in a long time. And I feel like I have been given eyes to see, at least to see further than I ever have.
So, instead of making stupid resolutions that I think matter but really don't, I am trying to introspectively make some character goals for this year...these are things that I think God has been prepping me for, and things that I have never surrendered to Him.
1. To genuinely show love to my family like I never have; to love them like this is the last year that they will be in my life.
2. To refuse to complain, and instead view every day through the eyes of God...keeping Romans 8:28 at the forefront of my vision.
3. To stop living for others, embracing what I have and not seeking out what I don't have.
4. To serve out of love, not out of obligation.
5. To recreate the habit of enjoying daily time with Jesus.
6. To utilize the power that He has given us to refute evil and defend what is good, giving Satan no opportunity to steal, kill, or destroy.
7. To allow myself to be challenged by things/situations that, in my own power, I will likely fail in.
I have already been given so many opportunities to see some of these things through. I'm grateful for a fresh start, and I hope to take full advantage of it.
I have been thinking for weeks about what this new decade will hold for me. Not necessarily "for me" in the selfish, material sense, though I can't say that I haven't thought about that either. There are plenty of things that I want: a new apartment, another vehicle, money for clothes, a trip to Europe, etc. But the "for me" I have really been thinking about is what God desires for me in this new chapter of my life.
One of the biggest mistakes we as Christians make is to view God's will as what He wants us to do. I have spent most of my life living like this: running around like a kindergartner, asking permission to cut on the lines, color the picture, go to the bathroom, etc. But I no longer believe that this is, by definition, seeking God's will. It's no mystery...God tells us that His will is for us to love Him and to love others with a selfless love. Pretty simple. This being said, I believe that seeking God's will is less about DOing and more about BEing. Existing within the perimeters of God's calling; relentlessly seeking intimacy with Him; allowing that love to spill over and slosh onto everyone around you.
A lot of Christians I know can become what I lovingly refer to as the Jesus Police, making sure that everyone around them is doing God's will. "I'm worried about Suzie, because she has stopped working with the infants and has been missing Sunday School a LOT. What if she's hanging out with the wrong crowd?" Here is a thought: what if Suzie has realized that her career of trying to please God through service has left her empty, and she wants to step back and try to see God through the eyes of a child again, a task that is difficult to do when you are burned down to a nub. We forget about that little being called the Holy Spirit..that if God begins a good work in us, He will see it come to fruition. I have experienced this myself, taking up most of 2009. It was a year of healing, restoration, and me seeing who God is and what He can truly do. I have witnessed miracles in the lives of both strangers and loved ones, I have seen tragedy, I have seen love poured out onto both the tax collector and the Pharisee, and I have seen Jesus in all of these things.
If 2009 was a year of prep work, 2010 is the show. I feel as though last year was the training for the 2010 marathon. My heart is much more open to ideas, service, and genuine love than it ever has been. I have peace about my life for the first time in a long time. And I feel like I have been given eyes to see, at least to see further than I ever have.
So, instead of making stupid resolutions that I think matter but really don't, I am trying to introspectively make some character goals for this year...these are things that I think God has been prepping me for, and things that I have never surrendered to Him.
1. To genuinely show love to my family like I never have; to love them like this is the last year that they will be in my life.
2. To refuse to complain, and instead view every day through the eyes of God...keeping Romans 8:28 at the forefront of my vision.
3. To stop living for others, embracing what I have and not seeking out what I don't have.
4. To serve out of love, not out of obligation.
5. To recreate the habit of enjoying daily time with Jesus.
6. To utilize the power that He has given us to refute evil and defend what is good, giving Satan no opportunity to steal, kill, or destroy.
7. To allow myself to be challenged by things/situations that, in my own power, I will likely fail in.
I have already been given so many opportunities to see some of these things through. I'm grateful for a fresh start, and I hope to take full advantage of it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
