Monday, January 11, 2010

A New Hard Drive, A New Year

The post I have been wanting to write for over a week is finally able to exist, simply because the lovely Geniuses in Southlake called me and told me that my baby was ready for action. Yep, the 2nd time my hard drive has failed on me, but it is fixed, so no more complaining.
I have been thinking for weeks about what this new decade will hold for me. Not necessarily "for me" in the selfish, material sense, though I can't say that I haven't thought about that either. There are plenty of things that I want: a new apartment, another vehicle, money for clothes, a trip to Europe, etc. But the "for me" I have really been thinking about is what God desires for me in this new chapter of my life.
One of the biggest mistakes we as Christians make is to view God's will as what He wants us to do. I have spent most of my life living like this: running around like a kindergartner, asking permission to cut on the lines, color the picture, go to the bathroom, etc. But I no longer believe that this is, by definition, seeking God's will. It's no mystery...God tells us that His will is for us to love Him and to love others with a selfless love. Pretty simple. This being said, I believe that seeking God's will is less about DOing and more about BEing. Existing within the perimeters of God's calling; relentlessly seeking intimacy with Him; allowing that love to spill over and slosh onto everyone around you.
A lot of Christians I know can become what I lovingly refer to as the Jesus Police, making sure that everyone around them is doing God's will. "I'm worried about Suzie, because she has stopped working with the infants and has been missing Sunday School a LOT. What if she's hanging out with the wrong crowd?" Here is a thought: what if Suzie has realized that her career of trying to please God through service has left her empty, and she wants to step back and try to see God through the eyes of a child again, a task that is difficult to do when you are burned down to a nub. We forget about that little being called the Holy Spirit..that if God begins a good work in us, He will see it come to fruition. I have experienced this myself, taking up most of 2009. It was a year of healing, restoration, and me seeing who God is and what He can truly do. I have witnessed miracles in the lives of both strangers and loved ones, I have seen tragedy, I have seen love poured out onto both the tax collector and the Pharisee, and I have seen Jesus in all of these things.
If 2009 was a year of prep work, 2010 is the show. I feel as though last year was the training for the 2010 marathon. My heart is much more open to ideas, service, and genuine love than it ever has been. I have peace about my life for the first time in a long time. And I feel like I have been given eyes to see, at least to see further than I ever have.
So, instead of making stupid resolutions that I think matter but really don't, I am trying to introspectively make some character goals for this year...these are things that I think God has been prepping me for, and things that I have never surrendered to Him.

1. To genuinely show love to my family like I never have; to love them like this is the last year that they will be in my life.
2. To refuse to complain, and instead view every day through the eyes of God...keeping Romans 8:28 at the forefront of my vision.
3. To stop living for others, embracing what I have and not seeking out what I don't have.
4. To serve out of love, not out of obligation.
5. To recreate the habit of enjoying daily time with Jesus.
6. To utilize the power that He has given us to refute evil and defend what is good, giving Satan no opportunity to steal, kill, or destroy.
7. To allow myself to be challenged by things/situations that, in my own power, I will likely fail in.

I have already been given so many opportunities to see some of these things through. I'm grateful for a fresh start, and I hope to take full advantage of it.

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