There are (in counting) 15 days until I graduate college and get my BA in English. I will eat great food and look hott (duh) on Thursday, grab a vine and an underclassman on Friday, and wake up at the crack of dawn Saturday morning, put on my cap, gown, and cords, then stroll leisurely across the stage, doing the "dead fish" handshake with Lanny. Then it will all be over and I will drive away from 4 HMC for the last time.
Wow.
If my life were a Shakespearean drama, Dr. Hopp would call this point in my life a "soul-shaking moment." All of a sudden, the high speed life of the college student comes to a halt and begins winding forward slowly, as if on instant replay. So much reflection, so many people to see, not enough time. Never enough time. It's times like these that really make me look back at my life. Who was I before HPU? Who have I become? Have I made a difference?
On the one hand, I am so ready. I have a job, a place to live (well, in July)and get to find a new church home. My life is wonderful! However, as much flack as I give HPU, this place is so special to me. Standing out by the bell towers, watching the makeout couples by Veda, the maintenance men riding around on Gators, I can't help but get emotional. It's almost over.
My best friend is getting married. One of my other best friends is leaving the country for 3 years. Yet another is going to law school. We are growing up. I am fine with growing up, just not apart. The thought of not seeing my loved ones all the time kills me. Brownwood is my home. It's the place that I first really glimpsed God's heart for me and for the world. It's where I met my mentors, my spiritual family.
Anyhoo...it's just hard to process through it all. All that is left to do is to suck the marrow out of as much of the time I have left as possible.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Song of Questions
I had a Harry Potter-esque moment today during class. As I was grading papers, my "scar" of writing urge started to "tingle". I had to wait until the bell rang, all the while, the tingling turning into a burning, until finally I broke open my journal and wrote this song down. It honestly might be terrible...but I had to write it.
Verse 1:
Don't want to feel
Don't want to listen
Don't want to cry
Don't want to pitch in
Don't want to pray
Is that okay?
Do You still love me?
Can't understand
Can't sing Your praises
Can't figure out
Can't seem to escape this
Can't smile today
Is that okay?
Do You still love me?
Chorus:
You will, and You can
and You have a plan for me
You were, and You are
all that You said You would be
You say trust You, and know
that You won't let me go
Cause You were, You are, I AM
Verse 2:
Just want to breathe
Just want to break through
Just want to laugh
Just want to hear You
Just want one day
To know I'm okay
And feel that You love me
Might have to try
Might need to trust You
Might have to speak
Might try to make do
Might see through the grey
Find out I'm okay
And know that You love me
Verse 1:
Don't want to feel
Don't want to listen
Don't want to cry
Don't want to pitch in
Don't want to pray
Is that okay?
Do You still love me?
Can't understand
Can't sing Your praises
Can't figure out
Can't seem to escape this
Can't smile today
Is that okay?
Do You still love me?
Chorus:
You will, and You can
and You have a plan for me
You were, and You are
all that You said You would be
You say trust You, and know
that You won't let me go
Cause You were, You are, I AM
Verse 2:
Just want to breathe
Just want to break through
Just want to laugh
Just want to hear You
Just want one day
To know I'm okay
And feel that You love me
Might have to try
Might need to trust You
Might have to speak
Might try to make do
Might see through the grey
Find out I'm okay
And know that You love me
Literature: detriment or necessity to Christianity?
In casual conversation with a 9th grade student, the book series Harry Potter was brought up. This series is very special to me, as well as possessing renound literary merit. Of course, I was excited to discuss these books with the unsuspecting girl (I am an English teacher, so sue me). However, I was greeted with this disappointing opinion: "Harry Potter shouldn't be read by Christians." My jaw dropped...not that this was the first time I have heard this, but I was appalled by the fact that someone other than Dr. James Dobson actually believed this. I began to bring up Christian themes, biblical allusions, etc. but the girl was convinced: "There are no Christian values in Harry Potter." I would like to also add the small detail that this girl had never read the books. But had watched the movies. Just saying.
This conversation caused me to think a lot about the role that non-Christian literature plays in faith. I will try to explore this issue from both sides, though it is obvious that I am biased. First I will try to go from Dobson's perspective. There are many verses in the Bible dealing with sin, sinful matters, etc. For example, 1 Timothy 6:11 tells us to "flee from these things (money, temptations), you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance {and} gentleness." Furthermore, 2 Timothy 2:22 states, "Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love {and} peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart." I think that most would agree that these Scriptures are pretty self explanatory. We, as children of God, do not need to engage in sinful behavior. The key words here are "flee" and "pursue." The question most critics would pose is "What does it mean to flee youthful lusts?" Doesn't that mean to run as far away from sin as possible? Therefore, in approaching literature with questionable language, sexual content, etc., would it be appropriate, in pursuit of holiness, to avoid these novels?
Now, the opposing side. Looking at the same Scriptures, one could pose a completely different arguement. The question I would ask is "What defines youthful lusts?" Is it content itself, or our engaging in the content? Is it knowledge of the sin that we need to avoid, or activity in it? Now, don't read me wrong, I am not saying to go and rent pornographic material for learning purposes. But I think that the Holy Spirit has given us discernment to know what we can and cannot handle. For example, the novel Atonement. There is an extremely risque part where the two lovers in the book have sex in the library. I would like to make 2 points from this example. 1) Reading this part/this scene did not cause me to lust or to want to emulate this behavior. 2)This book has a Christian theme that cannot be argued, and this scene was much needed to allow the reader to fully grasp the theme of "atonement."
The Bible commands us to be in the world, not of the world. Yes, we are called to be holy, blameless, above reproach. We should flee from anything that causes us to stumble. We should flee from sin, period. However, we cannot forget the first part of this phrase, "IN the world." Bottom line: the world that we live in uses foul language. People use drugs. They drink alcohol. They have sex outside of marriage. They have man to man and woman to woman relationships. Christians should not pursue these things, but can we make a difference at all if we have zero understanding of the world we live in? I need to be able to have a conversation with people who are in this world. I need to be able to not appear as a "holier-than-thou." There are no censors walking down the street; therefore, I do not believe there should be any censors in literature. I would like to end with this thought: I read my Bible regularly. However, one of the most life-changing God moments I have ever had came from reading the poem "Psalm III" by Allen Ginsberg, a homosexual Beat poet who was quite fond of the "f" word.
Any thoughts?
This conversation caused me to think a lot about the role that non-Christian literature plays in faith. I will try to explore this issue from both sides, though it is obvious that I am biased. First I will try to go from Dobson's perspective. There are many verses in the Bible dealing with sin, sinful matters, etc. For example, 1 Timothy 6:11 tells us to "flee from these things (money, temptations), you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance {and} gentleness." Furthermore, 2 Timothy 2:22 states, "Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love {and} peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart." I think that most would agree that these Scriptures are pretty self explanatory. We, as children of God, do not need to engage in sinful behavior. The key words here are "flee" and "pursue." The question most critics would pose is "What does it mean to flee youthful lusts?" Doesn't that mean to run as far away from sin as possible? Therefore, in approaching literature with questionable language, sexual content, etc., would it be appropriate, in pursuit of holiness, to avoid these novels?
Now, the opposing side. Looking at the same Scriptures, one could pose a completely different arguement. The question I would ask is "What defines youthful lusts?" Is it content itself, or our engaging in the content? Is it knowledge of the sin that we need to avoid, or activity in it? Now, don't read me wrong, I am not saying to go and rent pornographic material for learning purposes. But I think that the Holy Spirit has given us discernment to know what we can and cannot handle. For example, the novel Atonement. There is an extremely risque part where the two lovers in the book have sex in the library. I would like to make 2 points from this example. 1) Reading this part/this scene did not cause me to lust or to want to emulate this behavior. 2)This book has a Christian theme that cannot be argued, and this scene was much needed to allow the reader to fully grasp the theme of "atonement."
The Bible commands us to be in the world, not of the world. Yes, we are called to be holy, blameless, above reproach. We should flee from anything that causes us to stumble. We should flee from sin, period. However, we cannot forget the first part of this phrase, "IN the world." Bottom line: the world that we live in uses foul language. People use drugs. They drink alcohol. They have sex outside of marriage. They have man to man and woman to woman relationships. Christians should not pursue these things, but can we make a difference at all if we have zero understanding of the world we live in? I need to be able to have a conversation with people who are in this world. I need to be able to not appear as a "holier-than-thou." There are no censors walking down the street; therefore, I do not believe there should be any censors in literature. I would like to end with this thought: I read my Bible regularly. However, one of the most life-changing God moments I have ever had came from reading the poem "Psalm III" by Allen Ginsberg, a homosexual Beat poet who was quite fond of the "f" word.
Any thoughts?
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
los cosas favoritas
Yesterday I was asked what my favorite book was. Then my favorite movie. I could not answer! I really need to figure this out so that I will be prepared from now on.
Top 10 Favorite Books:
*1. Harry Potter Series (I am not going to count this in the list because it's not fair to the other books...so I am going to put another number one)
1. Memoirs of a Geisha- Arthur Golden
2. Pride and Prejudice- Jane Austen
3. Their Eyes Were Watching God- Zora Neale Hurston
4. The Other Boleyn Girl- Philippa Gregory
5. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe- C.S. Lewis
6. My Sister's Keeper- Jodi Piccoult
7. The Secret Life of Bees- Sue Monk Kidd
8. Matilda- Roald Dahl
9. Little Women- Louisa May Alcott
10. The Scarlet Letter- Nathaniel Hawthorne
Favorite Poems
1. "Psalm III"- Allen Ginsberg
2. "Renaissance" - Edna St. Vincent Millay
3. "Room of My Life"- Anne Sexton
4. "Theme for English B"- Langston Hughes
5. "Tinturn Abbey"- William Wordsworth
6. "cambridge ladies who live in furnished souls"- e.e. cummings
7. "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock"- T.S. Eliot
8. "Tulips"- Sylvia Plath
9. "Surprised by Joy"- William Wordsworth
10. "l(a"- e.e. cummings
Top 10 Favorite Books:
*1. Harry Potter Series (I am not going to count this in the list because it's not fair to the other books...so I am going to put another number one)
1. Memoirs of a Geisha- Arthur Golden
2. Pride and Prejudice- Jane Austen
3. Their Eyes Were Watching God- Zora Neale Hurston
4. The Other Boleyn Girl- Philippa Gregory
5. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe- C.S. Lewis
6. My Sister's Keeper- Jodi Piccoult
7. The Secret Life of Bees- Sue Monk Kidd
8. Matilda- Roald Dahl
9. Little Women- Louisa May Alcott
10. The Scarlet Letter- Nathaniel Hawthorne
Favorite Poems
1. "Psalm III"- Allen Ginsberg
2. "Renaissance" - Edna St. Vincent Millay
3. "Room of My Life"- Anne Sexton
4. "Theme for English B"- Langston Hughes
5. "Tinturn Abbey"- William Wordsworth
6. "cambridge ladies who live in furnished souls"- e.e. cummings
7. "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock"- T.S. Eliot
8. "Tulips"- Sylvia Plath
9. "Surprised by Joy"- William Wordsworth
10. "l(a"- e.e. cummings
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