The Conflict Within

There are (in counting) 15 days until I graduate college and get my BA in English. I will eat great food and look hott (duh) on Thursday, grab a vine and an underclassman on Friday, and wake up at the crack of dawn Saturday morning, put on my cap, gown, and cords, then stroll leisurely across the stage, doing the "dead fish" handshake with Lanny. Then it will all be over and I will drive away from 4 HMC for the last time.
Wow.
If my life were a Shakespearean drama, Dr. Hopp would call this point in my life a "soul-shaking moment." All of a sudden, the high speed life of the college student comes to a halt and begins winding forward slowly, as if on instant replay. So much reflection, so many people to see, not enough time. Never enough time. It's times like these that really make me look back at my life. Who was I before HPU? Who have I become? Have I made a difference?
On the one hand, I am so ready. I have a job, a place to live (well, in July)and get to find a new church home. My life is wonderful! However, as much flack as I give HPU, this place is so special to me. Standing out by the bell towers, watching the makeout couples by Veda, the maintenance men riding around on Gators, I can't help but get emotional. It's almost over.
My best friend is getting married. One of my other best friends is leaving the country for 3 years. Yet another is going to law school. We are growing up. I am fine with growing up, just not apart. The thought of not seeing my loved ones all the time kills me. Brownwood is my home. It's the place that I first really glimpsed God's heart for me and for the world. It's where I met my mentors, my spiritual family.
Anyhoo...it's just hard to process through it all. All that is left to do is to suck the marrow out of as much of the time I have left as possible.